Monday, June 28, 2010

April the bad blogger

I know you've all been waiting breathlessly for me to update my blog ....(pause for wild applause), so here I am. Updating.

John as of now is still unemployed, driving me crazy. AT least he empties the dishwasher now though. THAT is a major improvement. :)

We also have added a new animal to our family.

White kitten named Kashmir.

Sounds so cute, so sweet, so cuddly, right.

Wrong.

She is the kitten from HELL.

She was born on April 1st. Named her Kashmir from the Led Zepplin song. (love that song)

man - she LOVES  to bite. We had to go out and purchase squirt guns (a 6 pack), and place them stragecially throughout the house. In an effort to get her to stop biting fingers, toes, anything her mouth can get on, biting Katie, biting Rommy, biting the iguana's tail, getting into the plants, climbing the screen door, etc. There is about an hour or 2 a day where she IS cute, fluffy, purry, cuddly kitty, the the other 90% of the time, she is a little shit. Hoping she calms down...soon.

In other news (I love saying that), John has a job interview on Wednesday. I am now soliciting prayers from everyone I know. (wink, nudge). IF he gets a new job, we can refinance the house, and at some point get a new car. My 2001 Ford Explorer has 204,000 miles on it. Dad retired from Ford, so I get a nice discount. We're thinking of a Fiesta or a Focus. I'd love a Fusion, but they're a little pricey.

So thats whats new and shaking in my world. I am on "vacation" this week. Yes. I have a to-do list.

Here it is:

Shampoo Carpet (done today)
Scrub Kitchen Floor (did yesterday)
Scrub Entry Floor
Scrub Bathroom Floor (done)
Scrub walls in hallway, bathroom, bedroom (1/2 done)
Clean  the windows 
Organize under bathroom cabinet (done)
Organize hall closet (done)
Change bedding (done)
Clean and change hummingbird feeder (done)
Dust (done)
Clean the fish tanks
Clean the computer desk (Done)

I also mowed the front lawn, weeded the front garden, pulled weeds in the back yard, cleaned & filled the bird bath, filled the bird feeder, cleaned the deck, took the dogs for their 7 mile walk (twice now). 

I did sit still at some point and watched the Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and Toy Story. (also went to see Toy Story 3 in the theater, yes, I cried).

Talk to you all soon!
XXOO

April

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

'Economic Stimulus'

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.



This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:



Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.



Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.



Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up and watch your mouth.



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:





* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .



* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.



* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China .





* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala ..



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .



* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



Instead, keep the money in America by:



1) Spending it at yard sales, or



2) Going to ball games, or



3) Spending it on prostitutes, or



4) Beer or



5) Tattoos.



(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )



Conclusion:



Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !



No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Important Rules

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!




Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.

The world will expect you to accomplish something

BEFORE you feel good about yourself.



Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.

You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.



Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.



Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.

Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:

they called it opportunity.



Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,

so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.



Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they



are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes

and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before

you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try

delousing the closet in your own room.



Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life



HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll

give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This

doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.



Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and



very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.

Do that on your own time.



Rule 10: Television is NOT real life..

In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs..



Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.