Friday, January 24, 2014
Some things Minnesotans do are actually mind-blowing-ly odd to people from other places.
1. We use snowballs to play fetch with our dogs. Sometimes they don’t know what to do with them.
2. At random during the winter, Minnesotans take a break from their day to just start their cars. Not to go anywhere, just to hear the glorious sound of an engine starting (and to make sure the engine will start at -40 degrees). We also leave our cars running sometimes when we go shopping. We rely on Minnesota nice maybe a bit too much.
3. We get so much snow on the top of our cars that those scrapers just don’t work. So we use push brooms.
4. What’s that you say? The temperature is over 32 degrees? Shorts and t-shirt weather.
5. In April, yes April, we sled down 2 story tall snow hills created by plowing snow off of parking ramps.
6. We eat hot dish. The rest of you call it casserole, but you’re wrong.
7. We consider sledding a date night activity. Nothing says romance quite like bundling up like the Michelin man and going up & down the hill until you just tackle the other person, all beautiful with rosy cheeks and running nose.
8. We own the Ice-skating bike.
9. Have you ever seen a frozen waterfall? We have. Yep, it’s that cool
10. We buy large, expensive machines called snowmobiles to only drive a couple months out of the year.
11. Hockey – an amazing game where talented folks strap blades to their feet and hit each other with sticks. In Minnesota, that’s what we call a good time!
12. We walk on water. Well, frozen water that is.
13. We drive trucks on water too, and even put houses on our lakes and drink beer in them. Sometimes people call this beer-drinking-on-lakes, “ice-fishing.”
14. A favorite winter activity of ours is lying in the snow and flailing our arms and legs around, also known as snow angels.
15. We go outside in the middle of blizzards.
16. We use can coozies, not to keep our beer from getting warm, but to keep it from freezing. They’re like a little jacket for our beer.
17. We make our dogs wear jackets and boots. And not just because it’s cute….even though it is.
18. We grow beards not just for the look, but for the functionality of keeping our face warm.
19. We call beverages like coca-cola, mountain dew and sprite, pop. Can I get you a cold pop?!
20. We think that the “No Wake” sign for plows on the highway makes perfect sense.
21. We ride our bikes in the snow, and have ingenious ways of keeping them from getting covered in snow by plows while they are parked.
22. “Whatever” means we’re disappointed. We say “You bet” because we don’t have a strong opinion. “That’s different” means you have an opinion but don’t want to discuss it.
23. Not all of us are coordinated enough for skating. Or maybe we just had one too many beers. In that case we play broomball or boot hockey. Sometimes we wear special shoes and sticks for broomball. Sometimes we duct tape old brooms and use those.
24. We don’t worry about our beer getting warm. Snow = permanent beer chiller.
25. We skijor. That’s where we tie up our dogs and have them pull us across the snow on skis.
26. It takes us a really long time to say goodbye. We just don’t want you to feel like you have to leave and we want you to know that we really like you and enjoy hanging out with you…
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a little longer? We could make you some cocoa. It’s cold out there! What about some leftover tator tot hot dish? We could heat some up for you. Speaking of heating up tator tot hot dish, do you happen to have any new hot dish recipes? One of the ladies in the church basement said she tried crushing up some wheaties on top of some chicken……”
……and soon it has been 30 minutes and you’re still standing in the doorway all bundled up saying goodbye.
27. We play Duck Duck Gray Duck. The rest of you that play that other game are just wrong.