Posts

Run or learn

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Sad, but true.

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over But had me believing it was always something that I'd done And I don't wanna live that way Reading into every word you say You said that you could let it go And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough No you didn't have to stoop so low I guess that I don't need that though Now you're just somebody that I used to know  

What comes around...

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Yesterday tomorrow and today

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They said

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What is Karma?

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Karma  (car-ma) is a word  meaning  the result of a person's actions as well as the actions themselves.  It is a term about the cycle of cause and effect.  According to the theory of  Karma , what happens to a person, happens because they caused it with their actions.

Doggy bedtime prayer

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Learn

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Don't

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Everything is temporary but love

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Lessons

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Five rules

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It's easy to judge

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Me

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Truth

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Its not the first chapter that matters but the whole story

Someday we'll forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us pain.  We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge but letting things unfold in their own way and own time.  After all, what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race.  So smile, laugh, forgive, believe and love all over again. 

Forgive ? Yes! Excuse? No.

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Being a good person

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Hm.

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When

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Toxic

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Never chase

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I am enough

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Ozzy extreme close up

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Good luck Rachel

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Anxiety

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Building a wall

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Thought of the day

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Old Fashioned Butter Cake

Old Fashioned Butter Cake (from  Reeni's Cinnamon Girl blog )   2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted 1  1/4 cup sugar 1  tablespoon  baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 cup milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 eggs Preheat oven to 350*F.  Grease and flour two 8 inch x 2 inch baking pans and set aside. In a large mixing bowl sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Add butter, milk, and vanilla.  With a hand mixer, beat for  2 minutes, occasionally scraping down the sides of the bowl.   Add eggs and beat for 2 minutes more. Pour batter into prepared pans, dividing equally between the pans.  Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.  Remove from oven. Cool in the pans for 10 minutes and then turn cakes out onto a cooling rack to cool completely. Frost with your favorite frosting.  I used my favorite chocolate frosting, the one on the back of the Hersey's cocoa can.   "Perfectly Chocolate" Chocolate

Reflections

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Healthy thoughts

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You’re in charge of your happiness

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You’re in charge of your happiness This is your life, this is the only life that you’re ever gonna get and you’re in charge of your happiness. Don’t let anybody ever take that away from you. You go out there and you live your life and if you fall down, you need to pick yourself back up and you keep going because there’s always gonna be bad stuff, but there’s gonna be so much good stuff. So don’t ever forget that. If you change the way that you look at things, the things you look at change. Chelsea Handler If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are! —Iyanla Vanzant

iPad

So for Valentines day, John, (to whom I affectionately refer to as: "King of the Husbands") bought me an iPad Air 2. In Gold. Previously, I had a Kindle he bought me a few Christmas' ago, so I am familiar with the "Tablet" craze. Loved my Kindle, LOVED. I almost felt guilty, like I was somehow abandoning my beloved Kindle for the new iPad. As soon as I started using the iPad, all feelings of guilty disappeared. I LOVE this thing, and because I have it on my Verizon account, I can use it anywhere and access the internet. Also, its linked with my iPhone, it displays any text messages I receive. You know what else rocks? When I work out on my elliptical, I can watch something on Hulu Plus, Netflix, or my new favorite - Youtube. I created a work out playlist specifically for my iPad when I work out. My name is April Osbourne, and I am a techy geek.

No matter how hopeless things seem, you will make it!

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Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed, but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed your tears. When you are ready, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.” — Lee Goff    All of the times you felt this anxious and this overwhelmed. All of the times you felt this level of pain. And remind yourself how each time, you made it through. Life has thrown so much at you, and despite how difficult things have been, you’ve survived. Breathe and trust that you can survive this too. Trust that this struggle is part of the process. And trust that as long as you don’t give up and keep pushing forward, no matter how hopeless things seem, you will make it.” ~Daniell Koepke

On a lighter note...

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You Didn't

You didn't congratulate me on my promotion to office manager. You didn't wish me a happy 40th birthday. You didn't wish me a happy 41st birthday. You were not around when I found out I have Gastroparisis. You watched me struggle with severe clinical depression when you had the remedy that would have stopped it all, but you didn't.  When I was in a minor fender bender, you didn't call or email to make sure I was okay. The communication stopped for something I did not do. None of these things sound like how you would treat someone you LOVE. Now its too late.  The damage has been done. There is no going back, and nothing will ever fix it. 

Sometimes

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For You

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I no longer have patience for certain things...

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where  I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.   I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature.  I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.  I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.  I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise.  I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.   I hate conflict and comparisons.  I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities.   In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word

Karma, Baby

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One Broken Heart for Sale

Its been a year and a half and you'd think that by now, my heart would have healed.  But just THINKING about the entire situation makes my heart, my soul, my inner being just cry out in pain. Not a crying sort of pain, but deeper than that.   I've considered going back to see Dr. Keller and talking about it, but to what end? Will it take the pain away? Answer any questions? Solve the problem?  No.  All seeing Dr. Keller would solve is forcing me to relive it. To explain what happened, who said what, how it made me feel, etc.  Right now I don't feel that I am strong enough to go through it all again.  The point I am at now, is how to move on and learn to trust loved ones again. How to allow people in to my life without fear.   Truthfully, the only person I place 100 percent of my trust, my being in, without fear is John, my husband. (and my cousin, Heather).  When I think of what brought all of this pain to where I am today, what started it, or r

Truth

No one can understand the pain I feel in my heart. It has been shattered in such a way that I don't think I will ever recover. I don't know how long it will take for me to allow any one close again.  The only one who holds 100% of my trust and that I am completely safe if all ways is John.  Be patient with me. I am going to need time to heal. 

Roy Clark - Sally Was A Good Ole Girl

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Accept me or walk away

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.  You surround yourself with people who make you laugh.  Forget the bad, and focus on the good.  Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.  Life is too short to be anything but happy.  Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it!  I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love!  I am a whole complex package.  Take me. . . or leave me. Accept me--or walk away!   Do not try to make me feel like less of a person,just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.   If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad--you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.

Releasing the Past

Releasing the Past. Jeff Keller Posted: 24 Oct 2014 03:00 AM PDT Do you condemn yourself for things which you did--or failed to do--in the past?  Everyone does this at some point.  However, if you want to lead a successful and productive life, it is imperative that you release the past and not blame yourself for events which have already transpired and which cannot be changed. Ask yourself this question:  has "beating yourself up" about the past ever helped you or made you feel better?  If the answer is "no," I hope that you will make a commitment to stop this self-defeating behavior. The successful person takes this approach:  learn from past mistakes and make adjustments in future behavior.  The strategy of berating yourself for past conduct solves nothing and only serves to lower your self-esteem.  You create a vicious cycle where negative experiences and negative feelings are reinforced, which leads to more negative outcomes and more negative feelings.

9/11/01

So 13 years ago, the World Trade Centers fell due to a terrorist attack on the United States.  Everyone always talks about where they were when the whole thing went down, etc.  13 years ago, I was working at Steven Fabrics, in customer service. I was at my desk, working on a 4 page report of Vertical Blind back orders, calling dealers, telling them when to expect their order, etc.  I overheard in the office (I was working in a "cube farm") that a plane had hit the World Trade Center in New York.  1st thought that ran through my mind, was some dummy in a little Cessna or something did it.  I heard someone say it was a commerical airplane. Okay, I know that couldn't have been an accident, but I couldn't imagine why someone would intentionally do such a thing.  I knew my Dad would know what was going on, so I called Dad and he told me it was a terrorist attack on the US.  My coworkers all had by this time turned on the news to hear more and we he

Hurt

You never expect someone who loves you to hurt you, especially a family member, either intentionally or unintentionally, so when it does happen, the pain resulting is significant and unexpected, which seems like it makes it more intense. Sometimes, you can piece together why the other person acted out in the way that they did, but other times, you’re left wondering what went wrong, if it was something that you had done or not done, said or did not say. Regardless, the pain is very real. How do you react to this sort of pain?  Do you confront the person?  Wait for them to come to you? Do you pretend like nothing happened? Whichever action is taken it seems is the wrong action. Sometimes, if you are very lucky, you have someone who loves you and cares about you to lean on, and they can help you through the process. I am hurting as a direct result of lies and deception from someone who claimed to love me. I am also hurting for some transgression I

August Osbourne Update

Greetings and Salutations Land of Osbourne Readers!  Hope everyone is having a good summer and things are going great for you.  Thought I'd update you all on my thrilling life.   John bought me a huge bird cage for our 17th wedding anniversary this year, for my 2 Lady  Gouldians  and 2 Shaft Tail finches. 4 tiny little birdies in a 5' tall x 4' wide x 2' deep is a lot of room for those little guys, so I found a bird rescue organization in Circle Pines, and adopted 2 Society finches, and 2 Zebra Finches. I named them "George and  Weezy " and "Snow and Ice". I was a little worried about adding them to the cage and the birds fighting, but we're almost to week 3 and everyone is getting along great. I love their little chirps, (they sound like they're saying "beep beep beep") - they males sing a song to the females - sounds a little like a musical car alarm.  John loves them, and wants to adopt a few more. Could be dangerous

Gym Membership Dear Diary

Dear Diary,  For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.  Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.  I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.  My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.  ______________________________ __  MONDAY :  Started my day at  6:00 a.m.  Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!  Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful

love

"You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering; that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart; maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people and think they belong together, but nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on out backs, but they are a burden that lifts us. Burdens that allow us to fly." 

Music

Music is an interesting thing. It changes how you feel, reminds you of good things and bad.  For some, they can take music or leave it.  For others, they can't imagine a day without music in it, and that would be me.  I love most all types of music. The only type I really don't enjoy would be "death metal" or things in  that sort of category. All other music, I enjoy.  On certain television shows, tv commericals or movies, music plays an huge part.  Here is a list of songs I won't be able to listen to without thinking of something else:  (in no particular order, other than what pops into my mind first)  Carry on Wayward Son - Kansas - Truthfully, I never heard the song before watching the TV show Supernatural. Now, not only do I associate that song with Supernatural, I have gone as far as downloading it.  Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper - This was featured prominently on an episode of my favorite show Bones. If you're