Land of Osbourne

You’re in charge of your happiness This is your life, this is the only life that you’re ever gonna get and you’re in charge of your happiness. Don’t let anybody ever take that away from you. You go out there and you live your life and if you fall down, you need to pick yourself back up and you keep going because there’s always gonna be bad stuff, but there’s gonna be so much good stuff. So don’t ever forget that. If you change the way that you look at things, the things you look at change. Chelsea Handler If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are! —Iyanla Vanzant

So for Valentines day, John, (to whom I affectionately refer to as: "King of the Husbands") bought me an iPad Air 2. In Gold. Previously, I had a Kindle he bought me a few Christmas' ago, so I am familiar with the "Tablet" craze. Loved my Kindle, LOVED. I almost felt guilty, like I was somehow abandoning my beloved Kindle for the new iPad. As soon as I started using the iPad, all feelings of guilty disappeared. I LOVE this thing, and because I have it on my Verizon account, I can use it anywhere and access the internet. Also, its linked with my iPhone, it displays any text messages I receive. You know what else rocks? When I work out on my elliptical, I can watch something on Hulu Plus, Netflix, or my new favorite - Youtube. I created a work out playlist specifically for my iPad when I work out. My name is April Osbourne, and I am a techy geek.

Sometimes the door closes on a relationship, not because we failed, but because something bigger than us says this no longer fits our life. So, lock the door, shed your tears. When you are ready, turn around and look for the new door that’s opened. It’s a sign that you’re no longer that person you were, it’s time to change into who you are. It’s going to be okay.” — Lee Goff    All of the times you felt this anxious and this overwhelmed. All of the times you felt this level of pain. And remind yourself how each time, you made it through. Life has thrown so much at you, and despite how difficult things have been, you’ve survived. Breathe and trust that you can survive this too. Trust that this struggle is part of the process. And trust that as long as you don’t give up and keep pushing forward, no matter how hopeless things seem, you will make it.” ~Daniell Koepke

You didn't congratulate me on my promotion to office manager. You didn't wish me a happy 40th birthday. You didn't wish me a happy 41st birthday. You were not around when I found out I have Gastroparisis. You watched me struggle with severe clinical depression when you had the remedy that would have stopped it all, but you didn't.  When I was in a minor fender bender, you didn't call or email to make sure I was okay. The communication stopped for something I did not do. None of these things sound like how you would treat someone you LOVE. Now its too late.  The damage has been done. There is no going back, and nothing will ever fix it. 

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where  I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.   I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature.  I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.  I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.  I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise.  I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping.   I hate conflict and comparisons.  I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities.   In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word

No one can understand the pain I feel in my heart. It has been shattered in such a way that I don't think I will ever recover. I don't know how long it will take for me to allow any one close again.  The only one who holds 100% of my trust and that I am completely safe if all ways is John.  Be patient with me. I am going to need time to heal. 

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.  You surround yourself with people who make you laugh.  Forget the bad, and focus on the good.  Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.  Life is too short to be anything but happy.  Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it!  I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love!  I am a whole complex package.  Take me. . . or leave me. Accept me--or walk away!   Do not try to make me feel like less of a person,just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.   If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad--you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.