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1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After our hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance..The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15... Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
Thrilling, edge of your seat fascinating life details of John & April Osbourne. As well as thought provoking ramblings, with a sprinkle of humor here and there. Cool pictures, and pictures of my pets.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Did You Know That These Famous People Have/Had Crohns Disease?
Shannen Doherty, actress, has Crohn’s Disease. She has been battling the ailment for years. She will be on Dancing with the Stars this month.
Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th president of the United States suffered from Crohn’s disease and underwent an emergency resection in 1956 while in office.
David Garrard, the Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in March of 2004.
Mike McCready, lead guitarist of Pearl Jam was diagnosed with Crohn’s at the age of 21.
Rolando McClain, a college football player & NFL draft prospect recently revealed he has Crohn’s. Read about him here http://bit.ly/9UloRU
Anastacia, the American born singer and song writer, was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at the age of 13. Anastacia has sold over 25 million albums worldwide.
Mary Ann Mobley, crowned Miss America in 1959, was diagnosed in her early 20’s with Crohn’s disease. She starred in sever films with Elvis Presley. She is also the co-chairwoman of the Celebrity Club of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America.
These are just a few. If you do a web search you will find many more.
Love, Laugh, and always know where the nearest bathroom is
Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th president of the United States suffered from Crohn’s disease and underwent an emergency resection in 1956 while in office.
David Garrard, the Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in March of 2004.
Mike McCready, lead guitarist of Pearl Jam was diagnosed with Crohn’s at the age of 21.
Rolando McClain, a college football player & NFL draft prospect recently revealed he has Crohn’s. Read about him here http://bit.ly/9UloRU
Anastacia, the American born singer and song writer, was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at the age of 13. Anastacia has sold over 25 million albums worldwide.
Mary Ann Mobley, crowned Miss America in 1959, was diagnosed in her early 20’s with Crohn’s disease. She starred in sever films with Elvis Presley. She is also the co-chairwoman of the Celebrity Club of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America.
These are just a few. If you do a web search you will find many more.
Love, Laugh, and always know where the nearest bathroom is
Words of Wisdom
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
7. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
16. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
19. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
24. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
7. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
16. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
19. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
24. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
BITCHOLOGY
BITCHOLOGY
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act
a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be....
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch , so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H – Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act
a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be....
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch , so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H – Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'
Friday, February 12, 2010
Pick Me Up On Your Way Down
When my sister Rachel and I were little, her favorite song was this old country song by Charlie Walker, “Pick Me Up On Your Way Down” – every time I hear the song now, (its on my iPod), I think of her, and have it as my ring tone for when she calls me on my cell phone. The lyrics really tell a story, and in some ways matches the life Rachel has led.
You were mine for just a while,
now you're puttin' on the style
And you've never once looked back,
to your home across the track
You're the gossip of the town,
but my heart can still be found
Where you tossed it on the ground
pick me up on your way down
Pick me up on your way down,
when you're blue and all alone
When their glamour starts to bore you,
come on back where you belong
You may be their pride and joy
But they’ll find another toy
Then they’ll take away your crown
Pick me up on your way down
They have changed your attitude,
made you haughty and so rude
Your new friends can take the blame,
underneath you're still the same
When you've learned these things are true,
I'll be waiting here for you
When you tumble to the ground,
pick me up on your way down
You were mine for just a while,
now you're puttin' on the style
And you've never once looked back,
to your home across the track
You're the gossip of the town,
but my heart can still be found
Where you tossed it on the ground
pick me up on your way down
Pick me up on your way down,
when you're blue and all alone
When their glamour starts to bore you,
come on back where you belong
You may be their pride and joy
But they’ll find another toy
Then they’ll take away your crown
Pick me up on your way down
They have changed your attitude,
made you haughty and so rude
Your new friends can take the blame,
underneath you're still the same
When you've learned these things are true,
I'll be waiting here for you
When you tumble to the ground,
pick me up on your way down
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Animal Rescue Site
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box ‘fund food for animals for free.’ This doesn’t cost you a thing.
Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here’s the web site!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here’s the web site!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Bad Blogger!
Greetings & Salutations!
I've realized as of late I've been a bad blog owner, as I've not been posting much.
I've been distracted.
Day before Christmas Eve, my husband John was layed off work. Because unemployment still hasn't finished "investigating" his file - he was on a long term contract with a temporary company, evidently that throws up red flags with Minnesota Unemployment people - thus no funds received from them. At one point, I had 10 bucks in my checking account, and was forced to activate a credit card I had promised I was only keeping for emergencies. However, its expected to be done being investigated on January 15th. Which is also the day I get paid (my hours have been cut to 32 hours by the way).
I've begun to apply for a 2nd job, while looking for jobs for John on the internet, and cold emailing out his resume. (why isn't he doing it? he isn't as technologically advanced as I am, heh)
Insert acute depression, anxiety and panic.
All of the above is the reasons I've not blogged. (put have done a lot of praying...)
as soon as things start looking up, I'll blog more.
.....
I've realized as of late I've been a bad blog owner, as I've not been posting much.
I've been distracted.
Day before Christmas Eve, my husband John was layed off work. Because unemployment still hasn't finished "investigating" his file - he was on a long term contract with a temporary company, evidently that throws up red flags with Minnesota Unemployment people - thus no funds received from them. At one point, I had 10 bucks in my checking account, and was forced to activate a credit card I had promised I was only keeping for emergencies. However, its expected to be done being investigated on January 15th. Which is also the day I get paid (my hours have been cut to 32 hours by the way).
I've begun to apply for a 2nd job, while looking for jobs for John on the internet, and cold emailing out his resume. (why isn't he doing it? he isn't as technologically advanced as I am, heh)
Insert acute depression, anxiety and panic.
All of the above is the reasons I've not blogged. (put have done a lot of praying...)
as soon as things start looking up, I'll blog more.
.....
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