Pre-Existing Condition

Greetings Land of Osbourne readers,

Normally I don't blog about things like this but I'm pissed at the current politicians and want to get some things off my chest. If this sort of thing bothers you, I'm sorry. I won't do this often.

I have a disease for which there is no cure. It is a painful and embarrassing. It is expensive. VERY expensive.

Every 6 weeks I am required to have an infusion of a drug called Remicade. If I didn't have medical insurance, I would pay about $10,000 per appointment. Every 6 weeks.

If I didn't have insurance through my work, I would be unable to get insurance on my own without Obamacare set up. He has protected me in making it illegal for insurance companies to deny me due to my pre-existing condition.

Now, there is an expirament going on at the Mayo Clinic, and other places that are using stem cells from the person the stem cells are being used on. The stem cells are showing to eliminate Crohns disease.

People who are against stem cell use are under the mistaken impression that they are coming from aborted babies and other equally sad places.  Its people like these that are preventing my dream from becoming a reality. If people had a loved one in their life with a disease like mine, for which there is no cure, knowing there was a good chance that stem cells will cure them, then I think stem cells would become more used and less taboo.

The disease I have is bad. One way of keeping things under control is surgery. With Crohn's disease, if you try to just "resection", the disease will just reappear where the resectioning took place. As a result, the answer is to remove the large intestine all together. Which means a colostomy bag.

I have told my friends, family members, loved ones and the doctors that for me,this is not an option. If it means dying a slow,miserable death, I refuse. No. I realize its a scary thought for the people who love me, but my mind is made up. And I will not change it.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

Vincent my Betta

One of the strongest, longest lived Betta fishes I've ever had died yesterday morning. Vincent, named after the Bones episode where the character Vincent Nigel Murray died. So I've had him for almost 2 years.

Vincent was a tough little fish. On 3 seperate occasions, while I was cleaning his home, he slid down the drain into the garbage disposal. He lived, no problems. On another occasion he must have decided to check out the outside world, I found him (after who knows how long), and he lived. Like I said, tough little Betta.

RIP Vincent.

Narcissistic Sociopath

Tuesday is Remicade Infusion Day

Hi Land of Osbourne fans,

Today is Remicade infusion day for me. As you may recall, the cool new awesome Doctors have upped my infusions to every 6 weeks instead of every 8 weeks. They couldn't just up the dosage as I am at the maximum amount I can have.

So I have an infusion today between 12-2p. Then another in 6 weeks. After that one I go back and they are going to do a different sort of test to check out those pre-cancerous cells they found. (pre-cancerous meaning when these cells grow up they turn into cancer). Of course the cells were found in a part of my large intestine that is NORMAL, not diseased.

They also tested me for some virus. Evidently, if I've ever had this virus, I can never be treated with this super strong drug called Tysabri. I guess this drug is at the top of the Crohn's drug food chain. If the Remicade stops working then that one is a possibility - if Humara doesn't work that is. (that is next in line I think). However, this Tysabri is pretty risky also I guess. The 1st time I get it there is some danger of a brain infection. 2nd time, greater risk, 3rd, even higher. Strange.

The doc also told me that while probiotics are good, there is also a risk with them - "bacteria is bacteria", which can lead to sepsis. She said it would be better to just eat Greek Yogurt. Interesting.  I love that greek yogurt that John Stamos endorses. Oikos. Yummy. (although he's yet to appear to me as I am eating it, as the commercial suggests could happen).

In other news, I went to Brainerd this past weekend and hung out with Mom and Dad. I had such a nice time. Mom made Beef Stew with Dumplings. Awesome! We also went to this cool self serve yogurt bar - Cherry Berry's, which is my new favorite place in Brainerd. Sorry Coco Moon.

I am hoping to go back up to see them before Thanksgiving. They have my Bones season 1-6, which I need to reclaim. Might borrow them Warehouse 13 season 1-2. I need to pick up the following TV on DVD:  Bones season 7, Fringe season 4, Warehouse 13 season 3, and I'd LIKE to get Son's of Anarchy season 1-4, although I have burned copies from my cousin Kathie.

Anyway - thats all that is new and shaking in my world. I know you guys were all dying to know how I was doing. The requests have been pouring in. (well, not really, heh)

Take care all,
April

Words of Wisdom for hard times

Sometimes you have to die a little on the inside first in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger, smarter version of yourself.

Here are some lessons we’ve learned along the way:

1. You are not what happened to you in the past. – No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.
2. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. – You are who you are and you have what you have, right now.  And it can’t be that bad, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this.  The important thing is simply to find one POSITIVE thought that inspires and helps you move forward.  Hold on to it strongly, and focus on it.  You may feel like you don’t have much, or anything at all, but you have your mind to inspire you.  And that’s really all you need to start moving forward again.  
3. Struggling with problems is a natural part of growing. – Part of living and growing up is experiencing unexpected troubles in life.  People lose jobs, get sick, and sometimes die in car accidents.  When you are younger, and things are going pretty well, this harsh reality can be hard to visualize.  The smartest, and oftentimes hardest, thing we can do in these kinds of situations is to be tempered in our reactions.  To want to scream obscenities, but to wiser and more disciplined than that.  To remember that emotional rage only makes matters worse.  And to remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger.
4. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. – You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.  And a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy.  Sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems.
5. Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems. – There may not be a tomorrow – not for everyone.  Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today.  This is sad but true.  So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it.  Every moment you get is a gift.  Don’t waste time by dwelling on unhappy things.  Spend it on things that move you in the direction you want to go.
6. You will fail sometimes. – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  So get out there and try!  Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.  Win – Win.
7. You have the capacity to create your own happiness. – Feelings change, people change, and time keeps rolling.  You can hold onto past mistakes or you can create your own happiness. A smile is a choice, not a miracle.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy.  True happiness comes from within.
8. Emotionally separate yourself from your problems. – You are far greater than your problems.  You are a living, breathing human being who is infinitely more complex than all of your individual problems added up together.  And that means you’re more powerful than them – you have the ability to change them, and to change the way you feel about them.
9. Don’t make a problem bigger than it is. – You should never let one dark cloud cover the entire sky.  The sun is always shining on some part of your life.  Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.
10. Everything that happens is a life lesson. – Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc.  They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’  Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way.  If you don’t get a job that you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting.  And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.

Top 10 ways to cause a flare with Crohns

Keeping your Crohn's disease under control can feel like a full-time job. That's because it is. Avoiding potential triggers can help prevent a flare-up. You may be doing things that are detrimental to your health. Do you know what they are?

1. Smoke

Photo © hinnamsaisuy

Smoking cigarettes has a significant effect on Crohn's disease. The entire body is affected by smoking, including the digestive tract. Inhaled smoke enters the stomach and intestines as well as the lungs. Tobacco is a known digestive tract irritant that cause bloating, cramping, gas, and stomach rumbling.

2. Don't Drink Water

Photo © Carmen Dirica

If all you give your body all day is coffee and diet cola, you can't expect your digestive tract to treat you well. Water is essential to the good health of your entire body, as well helpful in preventing constipation and replacing fluids lost from diarrhea.

3. Don't Exercise

Photo © Ambro

If you could spend 30 minutes a day doing something that would not only benefit your Crohn's disease by decreasing the severity of your symptoms but also improve your overall health -- …wouldn't you do it? That's what exercise can do. The U.S. Surgeon General recommends 30 minutes most days of the week. It doesn't have to be a contiguous 30 minutes; you can also do 3 episodes of 10 minutes, or 2 episodes of 15.

4. Ignore Stress

Photo © africa

Stress does not cause IBD, but it will worsen it. Everyone has stress of one form or another -- the important thing is your reaction to it. Turn stress into something positive: Use it to fuel your creativity and spur yourself into taking action on your problems. Don't let stress fester until it affects your health.

5. Eat Large Meals

Photo ©David Lat

We all love to eat, but eating 3 large meals a day is not the best strategy for optimal digestive health. Instead, try 5 or 6 smaller meals throughout the day. You won't have that heavy feeling after eating, and your body will receive a steady stream of fuel all day, instead of repeated spikes and dips.

6. Skip Sleep

Photo © winnond

Most adults need 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night. Are you scheduling this amount into your day, every day? Maybe you have trouble getting to sleep, or staying asleep. Try practicing better sleep hygiene to improve the quantity and quality of your sleep.

7. Eat Trigger Foods

Photo © Petr Kratochvil

Trigger foods vary from person to person with Crohn's disease, but some basic themes are: fatty foods, fried foods, fibrous foods, and milk.Learn what your trigger foods are and how to avoid them.

8. Drink Alcoholic Beverages

Photo © Boaz Yiftach

This is a hard one, especially for younger people. But beer (which tends to be gassy), wine, and mixed drinks (which often contain other triggers such as fruit juice or caffeinated beverages) can be hard on the gastrointestinal tract.

9. Eat Processed Foods

Photo © Master isolated images

Processed foods often contain additives such as sugar or fat substitutes. Many of these artificial flavorings are known to be gastrointestinal irritants. Even people who do not have a diagnosed digestive condition may experience gas, diarrhea, bloating, and pain after eating food additives.

10. Don't Seek Help

Photo © Stuart Miles

Help can come from friends, family, coworkers, and your health-care team. Seek help from those closest to you for ideas on how to stick to your treatment plan and reduce stress. Don't be afraid to accept support and good advice when it is offered from a trusted source.

Everything does happen for a reason

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there; they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.  You never know who these people may be; your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower or heart.  Everything happens for a reason.  Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck.  Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.  Without these small tests - whether they are events, illnesses or relationships - life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.  Safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.  The people you meet who affect your life, and the successes and downfalls you experience, create who you are; even the bad experiences can be learned from.  In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.  If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally; not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love, and they are opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count.  Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.  Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen.  Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to.  Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself; for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you, either.