Land of Osbourne

I know you've all been waiting breathlessly for me to update my blog ....(pause for wild applause), so here I am. Updating. John as of now is still unemployed, driving me crazy. AT least he empties the dishwasher now though. THAT is a major improvement. :) We also have added a new animal to our family. White kitten named Kashmir. Sounds so cute, so sweet, so cuddly, right. Wrong. She is the kitten from HELL. She was born on April 1st. Named her Kashmir from the Led Zepplin song. (love that song) man - she LOVES  to bite. We had to go out and purchase squirt guns (a 6 pack), and place them stragecially throughout the house. In an effort to get her to stop biting fingers, toes, anything her mouth can get on, biting Katie, biting Rommy, biting the iguana's tail, getting into the plants, climbing the screen door, etc. There is about an hour or 2 a day where she IS cute, fluffy, purry, cuddly kitty, the the other 90% of the time, she is a little shit. Hoping she calm...

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up and watch your mouth. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka . * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. ...

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, ...