Land of Osbourne

​So, as you've no doubt surmised by this point, I live in Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes  (its actually closer to 14,000 lakes) , and 10,000 feet of snow every winter.  (slight exaggeration)  When I was young and stupid, I drove a Camaro, and the first year I owned it I made the not so bright decision to drive it during the winter. Its worth noting that my husband John has driven Camaro's in the winter as well.  Camaro's are rear wheel drive, and are NOT designed for winter travel in any way shape or form. ​Regardless if you put lots of weight in the rear end  (another winter time must)  it will simply not do well.   A few years down the road, I also owned a really nice Mustang. Having driven a Camaro in the winter, John and I knew it wouldn't do well, so we had no plans of driving it, however we did have to move it from one parking lot to another one winter day and we were shown how poorly Mustangs do. Worse than Camaros in fact....

  People who claim to be your friend do not do the following: Talk negatively about you to anyone Speculate about your actions to others without fact based information Do not support you in things they do not agree with Hard lesson to learn, painful.  However it was an important lesson for me to learn, for I learned through experience recently who my "friends" truly are.  Its lonely from time to time, but I am strong.  I have had to be strong for a long time, and I will continue to do so in the best way I know how.  I have learned now who I can trust and who I can not.  I will continue to be nice and polite to all, but sharing with people who simply do not care makes no sense.  Bottom line?  If you're my friend, thank you. I appreciate you.  If you are one of the ones who did the things I listed above?  Your actions are not what people who are "Friends" do.   Thank you for sh0wing me...

Hello Land of Osbourne Readers,  How was your spring and summer? Ready for Fall and Pumpkin Spice everything? Me too. Fall is my favorite time of year. The cooler weather, crunchy falling leaves, fall colors, all the good stuff.   John and I had a great summer. Maybe not quite as productive as I would have liked, but what the hell. We work Monday - Friday, 1 hour commute each way every day. I guess its okay if we didn't reach all of our home-owner chore goals for the summer of 2017.   Next comes Winter. In Minnesota, it can begin anytime from October - December. I don't mind the cold temps, but I HATE driving in snow and ice.​ My "winter" car, Freddy has new tires, and will soon have new brakes and rotors, then we'll be ready to tuck Frank into the garage for the winter and drive Freddy. Knock on wood, my little silver car makes one more winter. If not, we can always pull Frank out and drive him.  (Yes, I name my cars)  My sweet Boston Terri...

All you got is one life Living once can be rough But if you live every day all the way Once is enough You can own just one suit Worn and torn at the cuff But if you're livin' the life that you love Once is enough What's the good of reaching ninety If you waste eighty-nine You got one life so live it If you don't it's a crime Life's a playful puppy You can grab by the scruff And if you live every sec' what the heck Once is enough Never wait until tomorrow What if it never comes Life is a seven layer Don't you settle for crumbs Life's a playful puppy You can grab by the scruff And if you live every sec' what the heck Once is enough  

So, recently I've noticed a few people "un-friended" me on Facebook.  While at first I was a little surprised, after giving it some thought, I came to the conclusion I don't really care, which is somewhat unlike me. Of course I feel bad that the people no longer wished to communicate with me, but feel no remorse either. If you think that unfriending me on facebook is going to crush my spirit, or "that'll show her", I'm sorry to tell you your mission wasn't successful.  Bottom line: If you want to be my friend, and be in my life in some manner, great.  I'm happy you're here.  If you don't like me, then unfriend me. Life is too short to deal with such petty bullshit. 

​There was a time when I would have done anything for you, I loved you so much.   I knew you had flaws, I'd seen them transpire first hand, but despite it all, I loved you. Even now as I type that, I wonder why. I even defended you to others, who saw you for who you were, but love blinded me. Never in a thousand years did I think you were capable of hurting me in such a selfish, intense manner, although based on what I know of your history,and who you are to your core, I shouldn't have been surprised. ​ I thought that you loved me the same way I loved you.  I was wrong.  If you truly love someone, you are nearly incapable of hurting them, for you don't wish to see them in pain, much less be the one who caused it. Do I still love you?  No. (and I had to look deep for the answer)  I'm nearly convinced I never knew who you were at all. Nothing will change my mind on this. The person that I loved does not exist anymore, if SH...

​So, every 6 weeks, I have to have an IV infusion of a type of "Chemo-Therapy" drug called Remicade. I have been on Remicade since mid 2001.  Remicade + Immuran is what is keeping me alive, for all intents and purposes. (Immuran is a pill I take)​ This combination of drugs are used to combat Crohns Disease, the type I have, specifically, is: Crohns Colitis.  Rare Fewer than  200,000  US cases per year Treatment can help, but this condition can't be cured Requires a medical diagnosis Lab tests or imaging often required Chronic: can last for years or be lifelong Crohn's disease can sometimes causes life-threatening complications. Crohn's disease can cause abdominal pain, diarrhea, weight loss, anemia, and fatigue. Some people may be symptom free most of their lives, while others can have severe chronic symptoms that never go away. Crohn's disease cannot be cured. Medications such as steroi...

This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper TS Elliott

https://youtu.be/S-58jSCdtoc

Hello Land of Osbourne Readers!  Hope you've all (all....3 of you? LOL) been well and have been having a great spring and looking forward to a wonderful summer. I am, and I know John and Ozzy are too.  My sweet Boston Terrier Ozzy had to have 2 little lumps removed from his shoulder on Friday of last week. What a terribly stressful and upsetting experience that was. He has 2 incisions, one is about 3" long, the other is about 2" long, and the fur is shaved around the entire area. Interestingly, the thread stitches are purple. (my favorite color, good choice Doc!).  The first day he was home, he was very very groggy and wobbly on his feet. I had to carry him up and down 2 flights of steps to take him to go potty outside. I might mention he weighs 30 pounds. Heck of a work out for 3 days. He is now back to zooming around the house full of energy (Red Bull Ozzy!). I'm obsessively worried he is going to tear or itch his stitches, but so far he has been a good boy...

  Over the last 4 years, I've learned a lot about what it means to be a good person.  I am slowly crawling out of the protective shell I've been hiding myself under, though comfortable and safe, I realize I can't stay there forever, as much as I want to. I've also learned that sometimes, even though it sucks, you have to do what you can to protect yourself from any potential for being hurt again.​  You never imagine someone who "loves" you, to inflict intense emotional and mental pain, so when it does happen, it can and will change your outlook on life, yourself, and how you fit into the world around you. It also shatters any and all trust that has been built up until that point. Trust is earned, you don't automatically have trust just because you're related to them.  Actions, words and reactions speak volumes.  Being the kind of person I am, in the past, I've tried  to inflict as little damage to others as possible, to the poi...

I will not beg for your time and attention anymore. The more you ignored me, the more I got use to being ignored.  You stopped contacting me, I stopped waiting to hear from you. The more you stayed away from me, the more I adapted to your absence.  I have learned to live without you.  I have moved on.  If you loved me, you never would have done what you've done. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

It is too late.  At this point, that chapter is finished, that door is closed. (Closed and locked, frankly) My journey is moving forward. I may glance back from time to time in reflection, and self-examination, but I will not go back down that road again. Ever. It was your choice not to move forward by my side, and while unfortunate, I will not risk going down that road again.  You shattered me.  Shattered me in such a way I wasn't sure I'd be able to recover.  But I did. I am okay now.  Additionally, I see what you're doing now.  Trying to be subtle.  I noticed, and it makes no difference.  I am sure at some point I will be forced to be in your presence again, which is fine. Not ideal, but fine.  Rest assured though, I will not forget how you made me feel.