Thursday, June 8, 2017

If you're reading this, you know who you are.

‚ÄčThere was a time when I would have done anything for you, I loved you so much.
 
I knew you had flaws, I'd seen them transpire first hand, but despite it all, I loved you. Even now as I type that, I wonder why.

I even defended you to others, who saw you for who you were, but love blinded me.

Never in a thousand years did I think you were capable of hurting me in such a selfish, intense manner, although based on what I know of your history,and who you are to your core, I shouldn't have been surprised. ‚Äč

I thought that you loved me the same way I loved you. 

I was wrong. 

If you truly love someone, you are nearly incapable of hurting them, for you don't wish to see them in pain, much less be the one who caused it.

Do I still love you? 

No. (and I had to look deep for the answer) 

I'm nearly convinced I never knew who you were at all. Nothing will change my mind on this.

The person that I loved does not exist anymore, if SHE ever existed to begin with, and that I will never know for certain. Not that it matters.

What I do know, is you will never have a place in my life again. 

Even if you repent, and did the right thing, (which you are evidently incapable of doing) I would still not allow you into my life, nor would it begin to rebuild trust or any relationship. 

A long time ago, we talked about Karma, and I know then you believed.  

Karma. 

What goes around comes around. 

Do I wish you pain, the sort of pain I experienced? 

No. I don't. 

Why? Because that would make me no better than you.

What I do wish for you? 

Clarity
Empathy (impossible? I think so)

Someday, you will need something from me, and I will be the ONLY person on the planet who will be able to give it to you. (Of this I am certain. 100%)

Do not make the mistake of asking me for anything.  

Ever.

I will not give it to you. 

Remember that song, with the lyric: 

They have changed your attitude
Made you haughty and so rude
Your new friends can take the blame
Underneath your still the same

When you've learned these things are true
I'll be waiting here for you
As you tumble to the ground
Pick me up on your way down 

I no longer believe that underneath your still the same

And I won't be waiting here for you. 

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