Land of Osbourne

​There was a time when I would have done anything for you, I loved you so much.   I knew you had flaws, I'd seen them transpire first hand, but despite it all, I loved you. Even now as I type that, I wonder why. I even defended you to others, who saw you for who you were, but love blinded me. Never in a thousand years did I think you were capable of hurting me in such a selfish, intense manner, although based on what I know of your history,and who you are to your core, I shouldn't have been surprised. ​ I thought that you loved me the same way I loved you.  I was wrong.  If you truly love someone, you are nearly incapable of hurting them, for you don't wish to see them in pain, much less be the one who caused it. Do I still love you?  No. (and I had to look deep for the answer)  I'm nearly convinced I never knew who you were at all. Nothing will change my mind on this. The person that I loved does not exist anymore, if SH...

​So, every 6 weeks, I have to have an IV infusion of a type of "Chemo-Therapy" drug called Remicade. I have been on Remicade since mid 2001.  Remicade + Immuran is what is keeping me alive, for all intents and purposes. (Immuran is a pill I take)​ This combination of drugs are used to combat Crohns Disease, the type I have, specifically, is: Crohns Colitis.  Rare Fewer than  200,000  US cases per year Treatment can help, but this condition can't be cured Requires a medical diagnosis Lab tests or imaging often required Chronic: can last for years or be lifelong Crohn's disease can sometimes causes life-threatening complications. Crohn's disease can cause abdominal pain, diarrhea, weight loss, anemia, and fatigue. Some people may be symptom free most of their lives, while others can have severe chronic symptoms that never go away. Crohn's disease cannot be cured. Medications such as steroi...

This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper TS Elliott

https://youtu.be/S-58jSCdtoc

Hello Land of Osbourne Readers!  Hope you've all (all....3 of you? LOL) been well and have been having a great spring and looking forward to a wonderful summer. I am, and I know John and Ozzy are too.  My sweet Boston Terrier Ozzy had to have 2 little lumps removed from his shoulder on Friday of last week. What a terribly stressful and upsetting experience that was. He has 2 incisions, one is about 3" long, the other is about 2" long, and the fur is shaved around the entire area. Interestingly, the thread stitches are purple. (my favorite color, good choice Doc!).  The first day he was home, he was very very groggy and wobbly on his feet. I had to carry him up and down 2 flights of steps to take him to go potty outside. I might mention he weighs 30 pounds. Heck of a work out for 3 days. He is now back to zooming around the house full of energy (Red Bull Ozzy!). I'm obsessively worried he is going to tear or itch his stitches, but so far he has been a good boy...

  Over the last 4 years, I've learned a lot about what it means to be a good person.  I am slowly crawling out of the protective shell I've been hiding myself under, though comfortable and safe, I realize I can't stay there forever, as much as I want to. I've also learned that sometimes, even though it sucks, you have to do what you can to protect yourself from any potential for being hurt again.​  You never imagine someone who "loves" you, to inflict intense emotional and mental pain, so when it does happen, it can and will change your outlook on life, yourself, and how you fit into the world around you. It also shatters any and all trust that has been built up until that point. Trust is earned, you don't automatically have trust just because you're related to them.  Actions, words and reactions speak volumes.  Being the kind of person I am, in the past, I've tried  to inflict as little damage to others as possible, to the poi...