Land of Osbourne

I'll be as strong as a mountain Or weak as a willow tree Anyway you want me Well that's how I will be I'll be as tame as a baby Or wild as the raging sea Anyway you want me Well that's how I will be In your hands my heart is clay To take and hold as you may I'm what you make me You've only to take me And in your arms I will stay I'll be a fool or a wise man And my darling you hold the key Yes, anyway you want me Well that's how I will be, I will be Any Way You Want Me (that's how I will be) (posted for my sweetheart John, everytime I hear this song by Elvis, I think of him, for it describes him to a T)

On April 17th, 1997 at approximately 7pm, I married John Osbourne in Las Vegas Nevada, at the Las Vegas Wedding Gardens. I was 23 years old. John was 27. I am now 39 years old and looking back that seems impossibly young to get married. On April 17th, 1993 also at approximately 7pm, I went out on my first date with John Osbourne, at DeGidios Italian Restaurant in St.Paul, Mn. I was 19 years old. John was 22. I can say that the road we've traveled hasn't been smooth sailing the whole way, its been rocky in some spots, a tough road, however through the good times, the bad times and the very hard times, we've found a way to make it through. I love John more than I ever thought I could love another person. I am so grateful to have him with me. To have someone like him who embraces me for who I am, even though I am positive I drive him nuts from time to time.  He is my best friend in the world, and I can't imagine my life without him in it. Happy Anniversar...

  There's a brand new day on the horizon Everything's gonna be just fine There's a brand new day on the horizon And the whole world's gonna be mine I'm gonna tell old trouble, he'd better be moving on Happiness is going to take his place around here from now on The old dark clouds are gonna roll away The sun is gonna shine And the whole world's gonna be mine I'm gonna tell old heartaches, pack his bags and go I've decided that I don't want him hanging around no more Don't you know I said everything's gonna be just fine 'Cause the whole world's gonna be mine I'm gonna chase away those blues till they're out of sight And I guarantee you honey they won't be coming back Well don't you know I said everything's gonna be all right 'Cause the whole world's gonna be mine I know my luck's gonna change, just you wait and see Startin' tomorrow only good things in life are going to come to me There's a...

Why are Chronic Diseases like Crohn’s Disease, Colitis and Inflammatory Bowel Disease (“IBD”) such expensive medical conditions for Patients who even have Health Insurance?  I get asked this question many times by friends and acquaintances who care a great deal about me and can’t understand how my Crohn’s Disease has so badly damaged my financial “health” when all along the way I have maintained my Health Insurance. This is what I tell them when I try to explain. Any Chronic Disease such as these, which is also incurable with autoimmune components, can create ongoing needs for medical care, expensive drug treatments, unpredictable or emergent hospitalizations and possibly several surgeries. While having Health Insurance is BEST, people don’t typically understand that in an ideal setting the Health Insurance Company may pay 70% of the cost of what they deem to be “reasonable and customary” for any of the aforementioned medical costs but there may be also be a significant “Deduct...

1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful: remember that before you get me.  2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.  3. Place your trust in me- it is crucial to my well-being. 4. Do not be angry at me for long, and do not lock me up as punishment. 5. You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I only have you. 6. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understands your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me.  7. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget.  8. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily hurt you, but I choose not to bite you because I love you.  9. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I might not be getting the right food, or I have been out too long, or my heart is getting too old and weak. 10. Take care of me when I get old; you too will ...

I am struggling with major depression. I have had it pretty much since I was around 18, off and on. I've been on every antidepressant out there: Prozac Paxil Effexor Zoloft Luvox Xanax I am currently on Wellbutrin XL and Buspar. With Xanax on the side too. Also broke down and found a Psychologist. One thing about depression, while your in the middle of it, its hard to remember what it was like to be happy. I'm embarassed and ashamed. I don't feel I have any right to be depressed. Saw this picture today. This sums up exactly how I've been feeling. Its so hard to pretend all day long that I am happy. It is so hard to force myself out in the world and be social, when all I want to do is curl up in bed and hide there.

Recently, I was asked an innocent enough question  - I've probably been asked it before and I know what my answer was previously, but now my answer was different and it has really made me think a lot the last few days. I use to work in a customer service type atmosphere, where I was a part of a group of people, all working towards a common purpose, led by a supervisor or two.  Some people in that group excelling more than others, but each contributing.  Looking back, this type of setting definitely has it benefits.   A smaller privately owned company, maybe not as good pay or benefits. I now work as an office administrator, where the dynamic is a lot different. While the company I work for now is very very large, with smaller offices throughout the United States (and world, for that matter); So I have the benefit of a large company, thus meaning good pay and benefits. I am very thankful for my job. I know that I am good at what I do. (not perfect, I am human, I...

  Good news (sort of),  No surgery for now.   The ACL that was replaced last May is frayed, not totally torn. But it IS stretched out.   Miniscus that was repaired last May is also torn again.  Doc fitted me with a custom permanent brace so I shouldn't have to worry about it going out on me, and is sending me to physical therapy.   I check back with her in 6 weeks via phone, then in 3 months to see if I am happy or not.  If not, then I have to have a whole new ACL put in.  

Katie is now back to her old self again.  Wanting to play 100% of the time. Very unhappy with her diet, as she use to be able to eat whenever she wanted. She isn't quite as spry as she use to be, she can't hop up on the bed anymore, so she'll whine when she wants up, and John or I will pick her up.

So due to ongoing depression, anxiety, panic and all that other crazy stuff I'm lucky enough to have inherited, and since not only my doctor and family have urged me to do so, I've sought out a counselor. Finding a Psychologist that does evening hours is hard. When you DO find one, you'll be lucky if they have any openings before the end of the year. The stars must have all been in just the right places, because I found one in Cambridge. 3 miles from home. Evening hours. Thank God! I met with him last night, very compassionate guy, warm, inviting, small quiet office. He looks exactly - EXACTLY like Barry Williams aka Greg Brady. Made me smile.