Cultivating Happiness

We always seem to want those things we don't have. Moreover, we are often convinced that if we had those things we want so badly, we would finally be happy.

Singles who want to be in a relationship often believe once they are in one they will finally be happy. Those in shaky relationships hope their relationship will work out, because having worked it out will finally make them happy.

"I will be happy when I am in love." "I will be happy when he/she does really loves me."  "I will be happy when I know he or she is committed to me."  "I will be happy when my husband/wife is more considerate."  Sound familiar?

The truth is that happiness is an attitude. It's not something created by outside circumstances, but instead is completely within your control.  This means that you can be happy regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.  You can be happy regardless of whether your relationship is working out or not.  If fact, if you cultivate happiness, your relationship will improve.

You will not get that deep sense of satisfaction and happiness you crave just by getting or improving a relationship.  Nothing will give you that sense of happiness, unless you cultivate it consciously.

Is the glass half empty or half full?  Life and relationships work better when the glass is half full.  Below are some simple yet specific steps you can take to cultivate happiness and see the glass half full, regardless of your relationship status.

1. Be grateful
Create a sense of gratitude for what you have, for what is working, for what is wonderful and sweet in your life.  A morning or evening gratitude list, written each day, can do wonders for helping you feel grateful.

2. Take care of yourself
Identify the small things in life that make you feel good, and do one daily.  A short walk, a few minutes of writing in your journal, a short meditation, watching the sunset.  Whatever reminds you that you are a human being and not a human doing will improve your outlook on life.

3. Be creative
Creativity and self-expression generate happiness.  Schedule some creative time each day, even if it's just a few minutes of writing, painting, sculpting, etc.

4. Move
Moving our bodies generates feel-good hormones called endorphins.  Move a little every day to stay happy.

5. Get someone to take care of you
It feels good to be taken care of, even in small ways.  Get a massage, a manicure, someone to carry your groceries, launder your clothes, or fix something for you.

6. Read inspirational material
It helps to be reminded of positive thoughts and positive attitudes.  Get a small book of positive, inspirational thoughts and keep it by your desk.  Read one or two thoughts each day.

7. Contribute
Stand up for something that matters to you.  Contributing, making a difference feels good.  It boosts your self-esteem, your gratitude and feeling of well being.

8. Get some time
I know this one is hard, especially if you are a single parent.  But if you are determined, you can find some time every day to just be.  Make sure you do this - it will make a big difference in your ability to be happy.

9. Be in nature
Nature rejuvenates and restores the human spirit.  Whether your brand of nature is mountains or the ocean, give yourself the gift of visiting it frequently.

10. Be happy
No matter how many wonderful things you do to create a positive, happy, satisfied life, you could still end up unhappy.  Ultimately, happiness, gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction is a choice.  People often do not choose happiness.  Many feel refusing to be happy will somehow get them what whey want, like a child holding his breath.  Holding your breath will not get your what you want.  It is happiness that attracts.

July

Greetings Land of Osbourne audience,

I figured I'd posted quite enough enlightening and uplifting food for thought type posts and would toss in some fluff for good measure. I know you love that stuff.

I had surgery on my right knee on May 30th. Evidently I stopped breathing again. Strange how that happens when I am hospitalized. While helping me get dressed after surgery, John was having some trouble and he said to the nurse: "I guess I am better at getting her clothes off than putting them back on again" - LOL.

Following surgery, Mom came and hung out with me and was my "step & fetch it" - Ozzy and Katie LOVED having their Grandma there. I had some issues with Cambridge Medical Center (again), and have now resolved to take my services elsewhere (as I should have done long ago - Heather was right);  John will also be taking his services elsewhere as well.

Anyway, I was off work a week and a half - very boring - although I did purchase a used laptop so I was able to do a teeny bit of work from home. I was back to work on June 11th.

I have been going to physical therapy three times a week - doing awesome if I do say so myself. I have my full range of movement back - am currently working on stregthening so I don't have to go through this crap ever again. I can't wait to start using my elliptical again.

I went and saw the movie "Magic Mike" with my friend Kim. I was skeptical at first, but after seeing it....wow. Yep. Good movie. I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Work is going good - I am busy and happy. I love learning new things. I still long to go to school to learn how to be a professional computer geek but I don't want to add any debt to my life at this point so for now it will be a dream.

Take care friends!
April Osbourne

Better

Begin telling the story of your desire, and then add to it the details of the positive aspects that you can find that match those desires. And then embellish your positive expectation by speculating with your good-feeling Wouldn't it be nice if . . . ? examples.

You can say things like: Only good things come to me. . . I'll figure it out as I go along. . .. Every time you tell your better-feeling story, you will feel better and the details of your life will improve. The better it gets, the better it gets

Light in the Darkness

"We are not saints; we are not heroes. Our lives are lived in the quiet corners of the ordinary. We build tiny hearth fires, sometimes barely strong enough to give off warmth. But to the person lost in the darkness, our tiny flame may be the road to safety, the path to salvation.

It is not given to us to know who is lost in the darkness that surrounds us or even if our light is seen. We can only know that against even the smallest of lights, darkness cannot stand. A sailor lost at sea can be guided home by a single candle. A person lost in a wood can be led to safety by a flickering flame. It is not an issue of quality or intensity or purity. It is simply an issue of the presence of light."

Whether you are the light or in need of illumination, may you experience the comfort of knowing you are never alone.

Perception

What I began to see over and over again was that when most of us get upset it is for one reason and one reason only. The universe is not behaving the way we believe it should behave. This could mean that we didn't get the raise we believed we were entitled too, so we become disappointed. If we had not expected a raise in the first place, however, we never would have been disappointed would we? It could also mean that someone does not treat us in a particular way that we believe we should be treated.  Or someone dies before we believe they should die. It can be as heavy as that. I am not saying it isn't sad, but at the same time it isn't our choice to say how long someone is to live, now is it? Those are our perceptions of what we want, of how we want the universe to behave. When we get disappointed, we never stop and think that it is our perceptions or beliefs that are wrong. We think it is the universe that is wrong because of how we feel personally! That is a pretty grand stand to take when you think about it.  


So how do we change our perceptions? By becoming more aware of what your perceptions and beliefs are. You cannot change what you do not understand. So spend some time looking internally and when you become disappointed, think about what is disappointing you. Is it really the situation or the person, or is it because they are not behaving in a way you believe they should behave? Then slowly as you do this, force yourself to look at the bigger picture of what is going on. Force yourself to see the situation from a new perspective and offer positive spins on what has happened. I believe that the more you do this, the less you will be disappointed because you will stop taking things so personally. You will also begin to realize that the way things turn out are the way things are supposed to turn out, whether they are in line with your beliefs or not. This will lead you to feeling more in control of your emotions as well as of your behaviors and actions. You will also be able to use any challenge as an opportunity to grow, develop, and move your life forward, because you will not continuously be knocked down by disappointment.

What is a Dad?

A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail...

Faith is the key to being successful.

In life , there will inevitably be obstacles to encounter . But don't worry that they will seem too great for you to handle , because you can. You may doubt yourself at times , but know that if you have faith , you have everything. Faith is the key to being successful. If you know you're capable of anything because of who you are , you will always reach your destination. It may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it. Look ahead of you , never behind. Have faith in yourself. If you do, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.