Borderline Personality Disorder

This explains SO much!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

Being right - Rachel, this one is for you

Misunderstanding and disagreement in any relationship can actually be an opportunity to learn about ourselves.  However, most of the time we simply focus on how the other person is wrong.  It is easier to point the finger than to look to ourselves and face the unpleasant truth that we may share some or all of the responsibility.  We think, "If he (or she) were only more considerate, had more time for me, or did the dishes more, then I'd be happy."

Instead of looking at our own behavior, we believe that the other person is the problem.  We believe we are justified, reasonable and more than fair.  They need to change.

When I believe I am right, I spend an exorbitant amount of time re-hashing the situation in my mind.  I obsessively review the other person's responses and actions to find the evidence I need to be right.  In this internal dialogue, nothing changes.  I try to rebuild my case, yet I get nowhere.  If I continue down this path, when the time comes to discuss the matter with the other person, I've already become the judge, jury, and executioner.

It really does take more energy to hold on to being right than it does simply to be responsible for our behavior.  When we are willing to let go, problems can be solved more easily.  People are more willing to listen, to be open, and even to acknowledge responsibility when they are not under attack.

Practice
Identify Your Expectations:
First acknowledge you have expectations.  Then ask yourself if you are willing to give them up.  Stop expecting others to read your mind, to know what you want and need, and to satisfy your unspoken expectations.  Stop waiting for people to complete you.

Stop Keeping Score:
Yesterday's argument doesn't have to carry over.  Don't bring it into your next dispute.  Don't throw things in each other's faces.  Accept that we are all human.  We all make mistakes.  We have our moods, our reactions, our fears.

Acceptance:
Love people for who they are and who they aren't.  Allow them to change and grow.  Be willing to see them newly.  Don't put them in a box.  Instead of trying to make them be who you want them to be, give them the space to be who they are.

Give up Being Right:
Ask yourself--how important is your position, really?  Is being right more important than your relationships?

Ozzy the Boston Terrier being silly

Boston Terrier

I've been promoted!!!

Hi Guys! 

So on Friday of last week, I get a call from my boss in California. He asked if I would be interested in taking over as office manager for our office in Roseville, Minnesota. 

I was really surprised to say the least. (me? an office MANAGER?) 

I accepted.

Over the last year I've been slowly been taking over more and more tasks from the current office manager, and now I get the whole kip & kaboodle. 

She isn't fired or leaving or anything, but this frees her up to take care of her growing list of other duties involving sales representatives.  

I haven't gone to college. No technical schooling, yet here I am making good pay as an office manager in a job I actually enjoy and like. 

Had to share - thanks for reading. 

April

Positive Thoughts

May every day of your life bring you fresh hopes for tomorrow- because hope gives all of us our reason for trying.

May each new day bring a feeling of excitement , joy, and wonderful sense of expectation . Expect the best, and you'll get it.

May you find peace in simple things , because those are the ones that will always be there.

May you remember the good times and forget the sorrow and pain , for the good times will remind you of how special your life has been.

May you always feel secure and loved and know you are the best.

May you experience all the good things in life - the happiness of realizing your dreams , the joy of feeling worthwhile , and the satisfaction of knowing you've succeeded.

 May you find warmth in others , expressions of love and kindness , smiles that encourage you , and friends who are loyal and honest .

May you realize the importance of patience and accept others for what they are. With understanding and love , you'll find the good in every heart .

May you have faith in others and the ability to be vulnerable. Open your heart and really share the miracle of love and intimacy.

Above all , may you always have Positive Thoughts.

"Follow Up"

Greetings!

I have my follow up appointment today with the digestive specialists to go over the results of my colonoscopy. Good news - no disease activity, no present inflammation, and the biopsies they took are all non cancerous. She did point out that I am at high risk for cancer so they are going to continue to closely monitor me.

YAY!