This is my first year without my Katie Goose.
We didn't get out our big indoor Christmas tree, we didn't bring in our assortment of beautiful ornaments, we didn't bring in our stockings with the names on them. We have a 12" tree sitting on our kitchen table.
Neither John or I wanted to bring the big tree, ornaments and stockings in. Neither of us wanted to see Katie's stocking that we wouldn't be hanging this year.
Every day I miss my Katie Goose. Very much more so now, as I am not buying presents for my Goose.
John and I bought a little Boston Terrier ornament and put it over by where Katie's ashes are, that is our present to her and my sweet Rommy bear.
I just found out, that the neighbor who lives behind us, upon hearing of Katie's passing, cried and cried. I found out that she would play ball with my Gooser every day when I was at work. Such a special little dog.
Thank you God for allowing me to know and love Katie for the 12 years you did.
Merry Christmas Baby Goose,
Love, Mom & Dad
Monday, December 23, 2013
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Being right - Rachel, this one is for you
Misunderstanding and disagreement in any relationship can actually be an opportunity to learn about ourselves. However, most of the time we simply focus on how the other person is wrong. It is easier to point the finger than to look to ourselves and face the unpleasant truth that we may share some or all of the responsibility. We think, "If he (or she) were only more considerate, had more time for me, or did the dishes more, then I'd be happy."
Instead of looking at our own behavior, we believe that the other person is the problem. We believe we are justified, reasonable and more than fair. They need to change.
When I believe I am right, I spend an exorbitant amount of time re-hashing the situation in my mind. I obsessively review the other person's responses and actions to find the evidence I need to be right. In this internal dialogue, nothing changes. I try to rebuild my case, yet I get nowhere. If I continue down this path, when the time comes to discuss the matter with the other person, I've already become the judge, jury, and executioner.
It really does take more energy to hold on to being right than it does simply to be responsible for our behavior. When we are willing to let go, problems can be solved more easily. People are more willing to listen, to be open, and even to acknowledge responsibility when they are not under attack.
Practice
Identify Your Expectations:
First acknowledge you have expectations. Then ask yourself if you are willing to give them up. Stop expecting others to read your mind, to know what you want and need, and to satisfy your unspoken expectations. Stop waiting for people to complete you.
Stop Keeping Score:
Yesterday's argument doesn't have to carry over. Don't bring it into your next dispute. Don't throw things in each other's faces. Accept that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We have our moods, our reactions, our fears.
Acceptance:
Love people for who they are and who they aren't. Allow them to change and grow. Be willing to see them newly. Don't put them in a box. Instead of trying to make them be who you want them to be, give them the space to be who they are.
Give up Being Right:
Ask yourself--how important is your position, really? Is being right more important than your relationships?
Instead of looking at our own behavior, we believe that the other person is the problem. We believe we are justified, reasonable and more than fair. They need to change.
When I believe I am right, I spend an exorbitant amount of time re-hashing the situation in my mind. I obsessively review the other person's responses and actions to find the evidence I need to be right. In this internal dialogue, nothing changes. I try to rebuild my case, yet I get nowhere. If I continue down this path, when the time comes to discuss the matter with the other person, I've already become the judge, jury, and executioner.
It really does take more energy to hold on to being right than it does simply to be responsible for our behavior. When we are willing to let go, problems can be solved more easily. People are more willing to listen, to be open, and even to acknowledge responsibility when they are not under attack.
Practice
Identify Your Expectations:
First acknowledge you have expectations. Then ask yourself if you are willing to give them up. Stop expecting others to read your mind, to know what you want and need, and to satisfy your unspoken expectations. Stop waiting for people to complete you.
Stop Keeping Score:
Yesterday's argument doesn't have to carry over. Don't bring it into your next dispute. Don't throw things in each other's faces. Accept that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We have our moods, our reactions, our fears.
Acceptance:
Love people for who they are and who they aren't. Allow them to change and grow. Be willing to see them newly. Don't put them in a box. Instead of trying to make them be who you want them to be, give them the space to be who they are.
Give up Being Right:
Ask yourself--how important is your position, really? Is being right more important than your relationships?
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