Rindercella

Story of Rindercella Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince.




And this prandsom hince was going to have a bancy fall. And he'd invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. Finally, the night of the bancy fall arrived and Rindercella couldn't go. So she just cat down and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all at once there appeard before her, her gairy fodmother. And he touched her with his wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"



When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door because he had been watchin' behind a woden hindow. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!



The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize!



So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!

Mental Health Hotline

Answering Service


This is the transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute.



Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.



If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive: It doesn't matter what number you press - no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic: Press 969696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short term memory loss: Press 9.

If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

When Things in your life are almost too much to handle...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

“The golf balls are the important things -- your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions --  things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

“The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.

“The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and ‘fix the disposal’.

“Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend." 

This is me

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. 

You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. 

Forget the bad, and focus on the good. 

Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. 

Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! 

 I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love!  I am a whole complex package. 

 Take me. . . or leave me.

Accept me--or walk away!  

Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.  

If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

How to fix Congress

1. No Tenure / No Pension. A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they're out of office. 2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose. 3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do. 4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%. 5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people. 6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people. 7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void effective 1/1/12. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women. Congress made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work. If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message. Don't you think it's time? THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!

 

 

 

 

A thought for Monday

It's Monday. 


Some people don't like Monday. 


Take a moment to realize that, if you're reading this, it infers that since you own a computer and /or other internet device and have access to the internet, you probably live in a relatively wealthy and stable country, and are fiscally speaking, you're on sound ground for the most part. 


And no matter how bad your day may seem, no matter how much that late bill payment bothers you, no matter how you might dislike starting another work week, no matter how much your morning commute might get on your nerves, no matter how much the price of gas pisses you off, remember, there are still children starving in poor areas of the world,and there are still good people dying in stupid, meaningless wars, and there are still people suffering and perishing from what in OUR world are easily preventable diseases. 


And boy, all those people,they'd all just LOVE to be able to trade places with you. 


Now, sip your hot morning coffee, eat your nice nourishing, yummy breakfast, take a good look around your safe and comfortable room, and thank God or whatever, that you live where you do, and reassess your day. 


Oh, and have a good one. =]

I'm back!

Being the type of person who feels guilty over anything and everything, I was feeling guilty for not blogging, espicially after seeing so many cool blogs out there. Not that mine is cool by any means, but I established this and figured what the hell.

I am still at Hunter Douglas, now at a new location, doing new things (mostly); I am in Roseville, and get this - I have a TITLE. Weird huh? No way do I feel I deserve it. I am the "Service Center Administrator". Not driving a new Cadillac Escalade or anything, but the benefits rock and I am happy. I have the benefit of a large company headquarters, but at a small location with only less than 10 employees - something I've always thought would be nice. No more stress like I had before in Customer Service (not that this is a cake walk, mind you); which is really nice for my Crohn's.

Speaking of Crohn's Disease, I am happy to report I am still in remission. I am hopeful that if I stay in remission long enough, the stem cell therapy I've read about will become available and I can get it.

John is still doing well at his job, and is happy, he got a 1999 Harley Davidson Fatboy in September and LOVES it. Plus, he looks really hot on it. :)

Mom and Dad went to Arizona for the winter and are thriving there, they really love going there and I am happy they have such a good time.

This weekend (I think), we're going to reinstall our laminate flooring. Good times.

Later!