Land of Osbourne

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Today is a blank canvas upon which you have the delightful opportunity to create.  At this moment you are standing at the beginning of an impressive adventure, with the very real and present opportunity to shape the upcoming years into the happiest ones ever. Start now, take the initiative, and…  If you want to awaken happiness in the world around you, start by living a life that makes you happy, and then radiate your happiness outward.  If you want to eliminate suffering in the world, start by eliminating the dark and negative parts of yourself, and then radiate your positivity outward.  Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the power of your own self-transformation.  It starts with the one in the mirror.  Today will never come again.  Be a blessing.  Be a friend.  Make a difference.  Take time to care.  Tell someone how special they are.  Do something...

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there; I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sun on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft starlight at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die. Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep written in 1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are.  To change your world, you must change yourself.  To blame and complain will only make matters worse.  Whatever you care about, is your responsibility. What you see in others, shows you yourself.  See the best in others, and you will be your best.   Give to others, and you give to yourself.  Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful.  Admire creativity, and you will be creative.  Love, and you will be loved.  Seek to understand, and you will be understood. The good you find in others, is in you too.  The faults you find in others, are your faults as well.  After all, to recognize something you must know it. The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well.  The beauty you see around you, is your beauty. Listen, and your voice will be heard.  Teach...

View every challenge as an educational assignment.  – Ask yourself:  “What is this situation meant to teach me?”  Every situation in our lives has a lesson to teach us.  Some of these lessons include:  To become stronger.  To communicate more clearly.  To trust your instincts.  To express your love.  To forgive.  To know when to let go.  To try something new. Things change, but the sun always rises the next day.  – The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent. Giving up and moving on are two very different things.  – There comes a point when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up, and it’s not the end.  It’s a new beginning.  It’s realizing, finally, that you don’t need certain people and things and the drama they bring. Distance yourself from negative people.  – Every time you subtract negative from your life you make room...

My dear beloved friend Sharon Gammell is dying. I wish I didn't have to type that. I wish that it were not true. It is true, though. The last time I talked to Sharon was in October, and she gave me some advise when I emailed her for help. She did for me quite frequently. After my sweet Rommy bear died, she was there for me and made the days easier for me. Sharon sold Thayer's Historic Bed & Breakfast last year. At the time I was a little surprised at her decision. Now though, I think I understand. Sharon moved to Belgrade, Minnesota, where she primarily focused on doing psychic readings from her website. Around the last week in October, early November, I had a bad feeling about her and went to post on her facebook wall. Then a friend of hers that she had an appointment for a psychic reading for emailed me, concerned because Sharon missed their appointment, and she wasn't answering her phone. That is NOT like Sharon at all, and so I tried calling her too....

Greetings & Salutations! Hope you guys all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. John and I drove to Mom and Dad's in Brainerd, where we were lucky enough to spend time with some of my awesome family. I am very thankful to have been blessed with a very large extended family. Mom and Dad are leaving for Arizona next Wednesday the 28th. They will be gone until May of next year. While I am going to miss them terribly, I know that they have a great time when they are there, and are busy nearly every day. Plus, we can chat on Skype or on our cellphones. We're all on Verizon, so its a free call - sort of. :) I finally took the leap and began looking into refinancing our house. I saw so many homes be forclosed on in the last few years, it was scary to me to even fathom taking a chance, however the interest rates were too good to ignore. Glad I did. If all goes through as planned we'll be saving a ton of money in interest alone, not to mention monthly payments. Didn't hav...

So I was watching some red carpet event on television, (not intentionally, I was channel surfing), and Robert Pattinson was being interviewed by some chick, and she says to him: "Now, you're the ultimate vampire, obviously....." Wait, what? Seriously? Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen is the ultimate vampire? Pffft. Right. This woman obviously is delusional. I mean....really? Allow me to illustrate to further prove my point:

John is such a kick ass husband. I mean, really. There is no question. I recently accidentally broke my laptop screen. After doing some research, discovered its not that difficult to replace. Ordered replacment parts. After the parts came in, John surprised me and replaced the screen for me, after watching the "how to" video on you tube ONCE. (have I ever mentioned John has a very high IQ?) Last night, while watching Bones, there was some silly part of the show where Angela and Jack were reading  Aristoo's poem, and it said something along the lines of: "She is my carboreator...." John turned to me and said: "April, you're my jack stand". So sweet. I responded by saying that he is my flashlight. I'd be stumbling around lost in the dark without him. John Osbourne = King of the Husbands!

On my drive to work today, I was thinking about how people turn out. 2 people, raised the same way, given the same things, shown the same moral values - how is it possible that one skews so far to the side and one turns out fairly normal? Everyone basically knows right from wrong. How can someone justify intentionally hurting other people? Specifically family members?  People you're suppose to love no matter what? Everyone knows how Karma works. If you set out to intentionally hurt someone, and deep down, you KNOW its wrong, yet do it anyway out of jealousy, hurt, fear or a false sense of entitlement, regardless your motives, it WILL turn around and bite you in the ass eventually. Every time. Guaranteed. There is no escaping it. Even if you've been wronged by someone, it doesn't make it okay or right to lash out and hurt people back. Eventually, down the road, after the hurts have been doled out, and you get bit in the ass from Karma, you will then cry to ...

Today is the day that American's get to help choose our new leaders. Not voting is simply not an option for myself and my family.  My Dad and Mom always have impressed upon me the importance of voting, always.  To quote my Mom:  "If you don't get out there and vote, you don't get to bitch about the government for the next 4 years"  I don't care WHO you vote for, just get out there and DO IT!  Plus, the political ads will be gone! 

Greetings Land of Osbourne readers, Normally I don't blog about things like this but I'm pissed at the current politicians and want to get some things off my chest. If this sort of thing bothers you, I'm sorry. I won't do this often. I have a disease for which there is no cure. It is a painful and embarrassing. It is expensive. VERY expensive. Every 6 weeks I am required to have an infusion of a drug called Remicade. If I didn't have medical insurance, I would pay about $10,000 per appointment. Every 6 weeks. If I didn't have insurance through my work, I would be unable to get insurance on my own without Obamacare set up. He has protected me in making it illegal for insurance companies to deny me due to my pre-existing condition. Now, there is an expirament going on at the Mayo Clinic, and other places that are using stem cells from the person the stem cells are being used on. The stem cells are showing to eliminate Crohns disease. People who are aga...

One of the strongest, longest lived Betta fishes I've ever had died yesterday morning. Vincent, named after the Bones episode where the character Vincent Nigel Murray died. So I've had him for almost 2 years. Vincent was a tough little fish. On 3 seperate occasions, while I was cleaning his home, he slid down the drain into the garbage disposal. He lived, no problems. On another occasion he must have decided to check out the outside world, I found him (after who knows how long), and he lived. Like I said, tough little Betta. RIP Vincent.

Hi Land of Osbourne fans, Today is Remicade infusion day for me. As you may recall, the cool new awesome Doctors have upped my infusions to every 6 weeks instead of every 8 weeks. They couldn't just up the dosage as I am at the maximum amount I can have. So I have an infusion today between 12-2p. Then another in 6 weeks. After that one I go back and they are going to do a different sort of test to check out those pre-cancerous cells they found. (pre-cancerous meaning when these cells grow up they turn into cancer). Of course the cells were found in a part of my large intestine that is NORMAL, not diseased. They also tested me for some virus. Evidently, if I've ever had this virus, I can never be treated with this super strong drug called Tysabri. I guess this drug is at the top of the Crohn's drug food chain. If the Remicade stops working then that one is a possibility - if Humara doesn't work that is. (that is next in line I think). However, this Tysabri is prett...

Sometimes you have to die a little on the inside first in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger, smarter version of yourself. Here are some lessons we’ve learned along the way: You are not what happened to you in the past.  – No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.  – You are who you are and you have what you have, right now.  And it can’t be that bad, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this.  The important thing is simply to find one POSITIVE thought that inspires and helps you move forward.  Hold on to it strongly, and focus on it.  You may feel like you don’t have much, or anything at all, but you have your ...

Keeping your  Crohn's disease  under control can feel like a full-time job. That's because it is. Avoiding potential triggers can help prevent a flare-up. You may be doing things that are detrimental to your health. Do you know what they are? 1. Smoke Photo © hinnamsaisuy Smoking cigarettes  has a significant effect on Crohn's disease. The entire body is affected by smoking, including the digestive tract. Inhaled smoke enters the stomach and intestines as well as the lungs. Tobacco is a known digestive tract irritant that cause bloating, cramping, gas, and stomach rumbling. 2. Don't Drink Water Photo © Carmen Dirica If all you give your body all day is coffee and diet cola, you can't expect your digestive tract to treat you well. Water is essential to the good health of your entire body, as well helpful in preventing constipation and  replacing fluids lost from diarrhea . 3. Don't Exercise Photo © Ambro If you could spend 30 minutes a d...

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there; they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.  You never know who these people may be; your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to you and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower or heart.  Everything happens for a reason.  Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck.  Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.  Without these small tests - whether they are events, illnesse...

Here are 11 things we all need you to keep in mind… You never really know how much the people around you are hurting.   You could be standing next to someone who is completely broken inside and you wouldn’t even know it.  So never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.  And remember that there are two ways to spread light in this world: You can either be a flame of hope, or a mirror that reflects it.  Be one of the two every chance you get.   The most important trip you will likely take in life is meeting others half way.   You will achieve far more by working with people, rather than against them.  Giving someone else a voice, and showing them that their ideas matter, will have a long-lasting, positive impact on the both of you. Relationships don’t create happiness, they reflect it.  Happiness is an inside job .  Relationships are simply the mirrors of your happiness; they  reflect  it and help you  cel...

April vs Crohn's update - for my friends, family & loved ones:  I am no longer in remission. The disease is active again. The last test I had showed precancerous cells. The "plan" is to increase the remicade infusions from every 8 weeks to every 6 weeks. Then in 8-10 weeks have another more techy test to check out these cells. this explains why I've been so tired. Not tired like I need sleep or stayed up too late, but tired like physically tired, like I just ran a marathon.  

So I had that University of Minnesota colonscopy appointment. Awesome experience overall, very glad I went there instead of Minnesota Gastroenterology. 1 doctor was there STRICKLY to watch the monitor that showed the pictures from inside, 1 doctor was there to guide the scope, and 1 doctor was there just to watch my vitals.  All in all, it went okay. Not fun by any means of the imagination, but you know. Okay.  Anyway, I got the test results back on Monday night that I have Crohn's Disease (wooo, big surprise there), and that everything else was as expected. Great.  SO I know I have to make an appointment with the new doc to follow up after the appointment, but have been working lots of overtime, been busy, bla bla bla. I get a call from the main Doctor that did the monitor watching. I guess there was a type/error on the test results I got. There is an "Indefinate Dispasia" which is medical jargon for "strange cells we don't know what they are, we...

Greetings Land of Osbourne readers, I know you've all been dying to know how I am doing and how John is doing. I know you love the cool stuff I post here, uplifting, thought provoking stuff, but I know you also love the Osbourne updates. So here we go. I went to the University of Minnesota and had a colonoscopy for my yearly Crohn's check. First of all, may I say - what an awesome place. I use to go to Minnesota Gastroenterology - where I felt more like a number, where it seemed like they were more interested in quantity of patients, not quality of each person.  The U of M though - awesome. I had 3 doctors in the room with me during the procedure - one to JUST watch the monitor, one to watch my vitals, and one to guide the scope. They took 9 biopsies too check for cancer. (yay). I have to wait 2 weeks for THOSE results. I am pleased to announce that there IS a portion that is NORMAL. Yep. NORMAL. However the rest is riddled with disease, scar tissue and other fun stuff. The...

1.  Look at life as a journey and enjoy the ride.  Get the most out of the detours and realize they're sometimes necessary. 2.  Do your best, but if what you're doing has caused you discouragement, try a different approach.  Be passionate about the process, but don't be so attached to the outcome. 3.  Wish the best for everyone, with no personal strings attached.  Applaud someone else's win as much as you would your own. 4.  Trust that there's a divine plan, that we don't always know what's best for us.  A disappointment now could mean a victory later, so don't be disappointed.  There is usually a reason. 5.  Ask no more of yourself than the best that you can do, and be satisfied with that.  Be compassionate towards yourself as well as others.  Know your calling, your gift, and do it well. 6.  Don't worry about something after it's done; it's out of your hands then, too late, over!  Learn the lesson and mo...

Here are some simple suggestions for those who want to break free from the mold and truly live more of their life – to experience it and enjoy it to the fullest, instead of settling for a mere existence. Appreciate the great people and things in your life.  – Sometimes we don’t notice the things others do for us until they stop doing them.  Don’t be like that.  Be grateful for what you have, who loves you, and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they’re no longer beside you.  Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you.  Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it to live.   Ignore other people’s negativity.  – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.  No one has the right to judge you. ...

To forgive is to rediscover the inner peace that at first you thought someone took away when they betrayed you. When the person you want to be with pushes you away, thank them for pointing you in the right direction. No matter what happens, no matter the outcome, you’re going to be just fine. Let things you can’t control, happen. Stop focusing on what you DON'T want in your life. The more you think about it, the more you affirm and attract what you fear into your everyday experiences. You become your own worst enemy. Letting go doesn't mean you forget the person completely, it just means that you find a way of surviving without them. The best days of your life will be the ones where you let your heart decide what to do. There are two ways to spread light in this world. You can either be the flame, or the mirror that reflects it.

I feel very strongly about this statement. People who have come and gone from my life made me realize how important or un-important I am.

True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy. Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world, choose the one who makes your world beautiful. If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down.  Let go of people who bring you down, and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you. Just because it didn’t last forever, doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while. Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Don’t expect others to read your mind, and don’t play games with their heads and hearts.  Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out.  Half-truths are no better than lies.  And don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words. Lies help no one in the long run.  So… 1) Don’t say “I love you”...

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.  You surround yourself with people who make you laugh.  Forget the bad, and focus on the good.  Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.  Life is too short to be anything but happy.  Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it!  I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love!  I am a whole complex package.  Take me. . . or leave me. Accept me--or walk away!  Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.  If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad-- you will be amazed at the opportuniti...

Some people do things completely differently from the way you would do them.  It does not mean that they are right or that you are wrong.  It means that people are different.  There are things that people say which you would probably say in a different way, at a different time.  It does not mean that people are wrong to speak up, to speak out, or to speak their minds.  Nor does it mean that you are wrong for choosing not to do so.  It means that people are different. Different is not right or wrong.  It is a reality.  Differences become problems only when we choose to measure ourselves by our difference in an effort to determine who is right and who is wrong. It is not loving, healthy or necessary to make people wrong for what they do, what they say, or the way in which they do it or say it.  Nor is it self-affirming to feel wrong when you see things differently, do things in a different way or express a difference of opinion.  All...

There are many unfair things about having Crohn's but the most unfair is its uncanny sense of timing. Like a stalker that only hops out of the bushes until after you've tripped, Crohn’s knows when things are bad, and then makes them worse. The stress of the multiple situations I was embroiled in all trickled down to my guts and twisted them until nothing but pain was coming out of my butt. Making matters worse, I was not eating or sleeping properly and was drinking way too much coffee and soda which only took my already twisted guts and make elaborate balloon animals out of them. I knew the situation I was involved in had to end but the hard part about having a gut feeling is getting kicked in them. I imagine this pattern is true for everyone who suffers from a chronic illness, but speaking from experience, it's extra miserable ruminating upon a breakup or the death of a loved one while in the bathroom. By virtue the bathroom is a room only visited in short spurts. ...